Ready For Love
by Unknownhacker1
Summary: A story about love, all the joy and sorrow it can bring, and what it truly means to be in love with someone else. ROMY.
1. Chapter 1

Two years, she had lovingly gazed into those eyes. Two years…One spent hating the feelings that were growing inside her, and next spent reveling in them. Showing the world that love was a powerful and potent drug. One year, Eleven months, and three weeks; she'd struggled in secret to gain control of her powers, and one week she'd been hiding a secret from the man she loved. The secret that would change her life forever, she could touch. She'd wanted the moment to be just right, but nature had a cruel way about her. She'd told him, in whispered lusty words that she loved him and wanted to show him. Instead of wrapping her in his arms, he'd pushed her away, and those deep smoldering eyes that she'd secretly and openly loved, grew shallow and cold. He'd laughed her off and told her that the ruse was up. That he didn't love her, it was all about making her love him, after all he was the King of Hearts, and no one dared resist him. He walked away from her, taking with him all of the good things in her life and all of the hope she had for the future.

_**I am ready for love  
Why are you hiding from me  
I'd quickly give my freedom  
To be held in your captivity**_

She tried to call out to him, but he kept walking. Why was she such a fool? She'd fallen in love with the one man that she shouldn't have. The one man who could never love her back and who she could never be with. Remy LeBeau was a known player, a devote womanizer and he's succeed more thoroughly then she thought possible. Rouge, the untouchable unfeeling Goth, was in love with him. She felt the reality of it all crush her.

"Remy! Please stop!" He paused with his back to her and waited for her to explain herself. She inhaled convulsively.

"Please don't leave me! I love you." Her voice was soft and just loud enough to carry to him. She wasn't surprised when he started to laugh.

"What can I say the ladies they love me." His voice was light, hiding the pain that was cutting away at his chest. He knew deep in his heart that he loved this girl more then anyone who had ever come into his life, but he wouldn't destroy her innocence with his filth. He knew he would never be good enough for her.

_**I am ready for love  
All of the joy and the pain  
And all the time that it takes  
Just to stay in your good grace  
Lately I've been thinking  
Maybe you're not ready for me  
Maybe you think I need to learn maturity  
They say watch what you ask for  
Cause you might receive  
But if you ask me tomorrow  
I'll say the same thing**_

Rouge felt her heart die, she felt it fall from the stars where he'd hung it and shatter on the earth. From her lips escaped a small moan of pain. It hit him like ton of bricks, but he didn't turn back to face her, with a few words he killed her.

"Get up, Rouge. You know I never cared; It would take a better woman than you to make me stay. Pitiful…such a strong smart girl…thinking that she could tame Le Diable Blanc." He continued forward leaving Rouge sobbing on the grass. He knew that the other X-men would be here shortly to collect their friend. He had to be gone before then. He glanced back once, and the sight would haunt him forever. Rouge's hands were clenched into first over her heart, trying to stop it from breaking. Her mouth trembled and her body was hunched forward, trying to make herself as small as possible, but it was her eyes that stuck with him. They were hallow and empty the eyes of a soulless shell.

_**I am ready for love  
Would you please lend me your ear?  
I promise I won't complain  
I just need you to acknowledge I am here**_

'Leave Remy, before you hurt her more.' His conscious screamed at him and heeding its advice he walked away.

_**  
If you give me half a chance  
I'll prove this to you  
I will be patient, kind, faithful and true  
To a man who loves music  
A man who loves art  
Respect's the spirit world  
And thinks with his heart**_

Rouge watched him walk away. She knew she had nothing left. One chance at love and she'd blown it. After all who wanted to be with a girl with so many different people running around in her head, a girl who was so afraid of herself that she pushed everyone out of her life? Logan hadn't been the same since the Apocalypse incident; Kitty was always to busy to worry about her, Kurt talked to her sometimes but only when she was with the group-never alone. The muscles in her thighs tightened, pulling lifeless body upward, toward heaven.

_**I am ready for love  
If you'll take me in your hands  
I will learn what you teach  
And do the best that I can**_

She stood for a moment taking it all in, then ran. With no direction or plan, she simply went. Taking with her; a broken heart but smarter heart, a deep ache that would never heal, and all of her shattered dreams.

**_I am ready for love  
Here with an offering of  
My voice  
My Eyes  
My soul  
My mind_**

With the sun sinking into the night and the stars conquering the clear blue of the day, she set out into the world, to find a place for herself.

_**Tell me what is enough  
To prove I am ready for love**_

She needed a place where no one knew her. Where she could let her endless sorrow roll off of her in waves, where the sun and moon where he bed fellows and confidants, where she could mend away from prying eyes.

_**I am ready**_


	2. Chapter 2

Rouge found herself beside the road, walking, looking for a place to stop. She knew she should go back to the mansion, but she could bring herself to face the pitying looks and whispered comments.

_**I will not make the same mistakes that you did**_

_**I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery**_

_**I will not break the way you did**_

_**You fell so hard**_

_**I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far**_

Her wounded pride couldn't take the abuse and her broken heart wasn't sure that it could be that close to where she'd been with him. She needed to as far away from him and everything that reminded her of the days in his arms. She felt as though she were walking through water, like every movement was weighted and in slow motion. Barely to draw breath in past the sharp pain her chest, still she walked on. She found herself at the train station.

_**Because of you**_

_**I never stray too far from the sidewalk**_

_**Because of you**_

_**I learned to play on the safe side**_

_**So I don't get hurt**_

_**Because of you**_

_**I find it hard to trust**_

_**Not only me, but everyone around me**_

_**Because of you**_

_**I am afraid**_

She scrounged together all of the money she had in her pockets and thanked god that she'd pocketed her credit card earlier that day and had forgotten to take it out of her pocket. It didn't matter where the train was going as long as it was away from Bayville and away from the south. It was midnight before they were underway. The night whipped by them, taking with it small desolate towns, large cities, and vast expanses of nothing. She found herself contemplating…wondering if she would ever be able to open her heart up again. She knew the answer…Remy had cut her heart open with a surgeons precision. The space he left in her heart was permanent; no amount of reconstruction or careful contemplation would heal her. Three days rolled past and she sat, not moving as the train paused. Passengers came and went, the Conductor came to see her after every stop checking to see if she was okay, but no response came from her.

When at last the rolled into their destination she moved with slow calculated grace. Her face held a light smile, but it wasn't real…it was a thin façade to sooth her aching heart.

_**I lose my way**_

_**And it's not too long before you point it out**_

_**I cannot cry**_

_**Because I know that's weakness in your eyes**_

_**I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh**_

_**Every day of my life**_

_**My heart can't possibly break**_

_**When it wasn't even whole to start with**_

They called Montana the Big Sky state, now she could see why. It was open. Nothing hindered her view of that breathy spacious blue. It was faded like a pair of over loved blue jeans, and dotted with white tufts of clouds. She looked down at her wrinkled stinking clothes and felt disgust roll over her in waves. She entered the first store she could find and discarded the clothes in favor of something a little plainer. The result was a long sleeve button down cotton shirt and a pair of stiff dark blue jeans.

_**Because of you**_

_**I never stray too far from the sidewalk**_

_**Because of you**_

_**I learned to play on the safe side**_

_**So I don't get hurt**_

_**Because of you**_

_**I find it hard to trust**_

_**Not only me, but everyone around me**_

_**Because of you**_

_**I am afraid**_

She wasn't sure how things had worked out the way they had, but it wasn't long before she had found herself a small house to rent. Outside of town, in center of large field that was bordered on three sides by dense woods. The real estate woman, whose name escaped her at the moment, had promised to come by and see her in the morning so she could get supplies and things. Strange, how when she'd given up hope and given in to desperation, hope found her again. She drew the cool air into her lungs and felt it ease the burning knot of her heart.

_**I watched you die**_

_**I heard you cry**_

_**Every night in your sleep**_

_**I was so young**_

_**You should have known better than to lean on me**_

_**You never thought of anyone else**_

_**You just saw your pain**_

_**And now I cry**_

_**In the middle of the night**_

_**For the same damn thing**_

She felt the openness wrap its arms around her and pull her into an embrace. This place where man was dwarfed by God's work, this place where she was just another girl from out of state, this was where would wash away Rouge, as surely as she washed away her Goth make-up. Rouge had died, died back in Bayville where her heart had been ripped out.

_**Because of you**_

_**I never stray too far from the sidewalk**_

_**Because of you**_

_**I learned to play on the safe side**_

_**So I don't get hurt**_

_**Because of you**_

_**I tried my hardest just to forget everything**_

_**Because of you**_

_**I don't know how to let anyone else in**_

_**Because of you**_

_**I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty**_

_**Because of you**_

_**I am afraid**_

She was now Marie. Scared and quiet Marie. The girl that Rouge had locked away deep inside of her, like a stolen psyche. Marie didn't love, she didn't cry. Marie was happy and laughed freely…only when got home at night and cried herself to sleep in an empty bed would she know that Marie was just same as Rouge…a fake…

_**Because of you**_

_**Because of you**_


	3. Chapter 3

Song: Beautiful by India Arie

* * *

She dug her hands into the rich earth. Her fingers wiggled around in the soil until they were tangled into the roots of the plant. With a great heave she pulled the small plant from her the dirt and placed it in a small pot beside her. She bit back a laugh as she secured the little plant into its new home. Who would have thought that the former Goth Queen of the X-men would become a gardener? She had always been in love with the feel of the earth, the rich musty smell of damp soil, and the little thriving plants that grew through cracks in cement, in harsh deserts, and in frozen tundra's.

_**The time is right  
I'm gonna pack my bags  
And take that journey down the road  
Cause over the mountain I see the bright sun shining  
And I want to live inside the glow  
Yeah**_

Four months she'd been toiling away in the little patch of earth…making it bigger and planting seeds deep in the earth. The result was a beautiful garden and a healthy glow about her skin. She had a job that she worked at night, tending a bar in town, but during the day all of her time was spent here in the garden, tending her plants. She grown into the peaceful nature of this life, and with it she had shed the last vestiges of Rouge and maybe some of Marie, but she was happy when she was here on her knees in the dirt with her fingers deep in the moist earth.

_**I wanna go to a place where I am nothing and everything  
That exists between here and nowhere  
I wanna go to a place where time has no consequences oh yeah  
The sky opens to my prayers**_

The X-men had found her about three weeks ago and had been shocked to see the change in her. They didn't know why she had left or that at night when she was done with work, and the sun was rising from the east, she called this the Nothing…and she cried until she couldn't hold her eyes open anymore. She thought that seeing them again would make her miss home, but the short time they spent criticizing her new life style and cracking jokes about her old one, widened the gap between them. They hadn't stayed long…just long enough to ware out their welcome and hit the road. She moped around for a couple of hours, before heading back out to her small sanctuary. She had decided that this place was the only place where she could be herself. The girl who sang and smile, who loved the sun and wind in her hair, who wanted to sedentary but as wild as the expansive wilderness around her.

_**I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,  
I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,  
I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,  
I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,**_

She had everything at her finger tips, but nothing to show for it. Her heart was still broken; it was just more heavily guarded now. She still struggled with her powers sometimes, and she was still alone. She stood and brought the plant inside with her. Placing it gently on the sill above the sink, she gently began to wash the dirt from her hands. They were no longer the pale wanting hands of a lovesick child; instead they were hard and bronzed with deep lines and scars. At first she had hated the change, but now she looked at her hands in pride. They were her maker for her transformation.

_**Please understand  
That its not that I don't care  
But right now these walls are closing in on me  
I love you more than I love life itself  
But I need to find a place were I can breathe  
I can breathe**_

She smiled a sad smile as her eyes followed the gently sway of lemon grass in the wind. The field to the side of her house was an open invitation to frolic, something she did often, when she felt restless. She turned her back toward the window and focused inward, trailing her eyes lovingly over the interior of her small home. The floors were cracked and yellow linoleum, the walls were half paneled in knotty pine. The ceiling was painted white but she could see the previous tenants color choice peaking through the sloppy paint job. Her wooden table dominated her kitchen/dining room…but it was fine with her, she loved the scars that decorated the wood, so she forgave its size. There were books lining the doorways and small bits of bright fabric decorating everything. She knew it made no sense…but she loved it. She felt safe here. In this place where she could breath.

_**I wanna go to a place where I can hold the intangible  
And let go of the pain with all my might  
I wanna go to a place where I'm suspended on ecstasy  
Somewhere between dark and light  
Where wrong becomes right**_

Marie had even become a respected member of the community. She was always treated politely, and even though the town knew she was a mutant, they accepted her into their midst and she flourished. It was with that thought in mind that she made her way toward her room, she needed to change so she could go into town and get groceries, but she was never able to…because a small light was peaking from under the door to her bathroom. Certain that she had turned the light off she moved toward the door.

_**I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,  
I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,  
I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,  
I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful**_

She turned the door knob gently, expecting to see Kitty or Kurt, anyone but who her aching heart told her was hiding in her bathroom. She flung the door open and started in horror at the man who was rummaging through her medicine cabinet. He turned to look at her and smiled apologetically.

"You have any aspirin, Chère? Remy has a bad headache." He moved away from the cabinet, toward her, but she couldn't face him again, not so soon after he'd wreaked havoc on her heart. A horrified noise escaped her lips before she took off in a sprint. She made it to her car before he caught her and knocked her unconscious...He brushed his hand across her dull hair and glowing skin, pausing to kiss her eye lids softly before lifting her into his arms…

"Sorry Chère…Remy needs your help."

_**Mmmmmmm... beautiful...**_


	4. Chapter 4

Remy looked down at the girl wrapped tightly in his arms. She was so strong, but he could still see the pain in her eyes when he'd broken her heart and now when he'd walked back into her life, to use her. Like everyone in her life…he was just regret, another broken heart…

_**I thought you'd be out of my mind  
And Id finally found a way to learn to live without you  
I thought it was just a matter of time  
Till I had a hundred reasons not to think about you**_

He wanted so badly to tell her the truth. That he couldn't breathe unless she was near him, but he wasn't that selfish. He knew that she deserved a life in the sun; a life filled with joy and laughter…a life that a wanted criminal like him could never give her. He ran his hands down her cheek, letting the warmth seep into his cold hand.

_**But its just not so  
And after all this time, I still cant let go**_

He'd tried. God knows he'd tried. He'd flirted, stolen, slept around, but at the night he felt sicker and sicker of himself. He couldn't look in the mirror anymore because all he would see was Rouge bent over in pain as her heart broke. He'd gone back to the mansion to find her, but to his surprise she didn't live there anymore and she'd hadn't told anyone what had happened. He had tried even then to justify everything that he had said that day…but he knew that true love didn't cause pain. That real love was sweet and kind and everything that their relationship hadn't been.

_**I've still got your face  
Painted on my heart  
Scrawled upon my soul  
Etched upon my memory, baby**_

He could tare his eyes away from her. Her skin was a warm honey color, but her hair was lifeless and unwashed. Her eyes were rimmed in dark circles. She looked like she was happy in that little town…but he could see the emptiness in her eyes…and hated himself for causing it.

**_I've got your kiss  
Still burning on my lips  
The touch of my fingertips  
This love so deep inside of me, baby_**

"Remy is so sorry…I am so sorry." His voice was barely more then a broken whisper…

**_I've tried everything that I can  
To get my heart to forget you  
But it just cant seem to_**

He ripped his eyes away and locked them on the rapidly changing scenery around them. The train didn't hesitate at the small towns around them…it simply went…with it's destination far into the horizon. He felt relief that he was coming home to his city…New Orleans, the only woman who had ever truly loved him.

_**I guess its just no use  
In every part of me  
Is still a part of you**_

'_No…_' he corrected himself. '_The city was the only woman he'd ever allowed himself to love. Many woman had convinced themselves that they loved him, and one_,' he clutched her tighter in his arms '_had actually given him her heart_.' He closed his eyes against the rising tide of emotion. He had a job to do, and Rouge was the only one he trusted enough to help him.

**_And I've still got your face  
Painted on my heart  
Scrawled upon my soul  
Etched upon my memory, baby_**

He just hoped that she had it in her heart to forgive him.

**_I've got your kiss  
Still burning on my lips  
The touch of her fingertips  
This love so deep inside of me, baby_**

He shifted Rouge gently so her head was resting the crook of his shoulder and her body was cradled in his arms…then drifted off into a sound sleep.

**_I've still got your face  
Painted on my heart  
Painted on my heart  
Painted on my heart, oh baby_**

His dreams were vivid prophecy. They told him of a world his waking self knew would never come to be. A world where Rouge and him lived happily together, where they were happy…

**_Something in your eyes keeps haunting me  
I'm trying to escape you  
and I know there ain't no way to  
to chase you from my mind_**

When he awoke they were two hours outside of New Orleans and Rouge had yet to move. He knew she wouldn't wake until tomorrow at least, but he wanted to see her eyes light up in fury. He missed her so much these last months that even her anger would be a welcome change from the silence of he absence. His legs where asleep when he tried to move them, but he couldn't bring himself to change positions, he was so happy to have her back in his arms. He loved the warmth that radiated from her slim body, it took the edge of his loneliness and made him hope against everything inside of him.

_**I've still got your face  
Painted on my heart  
Scrawled upon my soul  
Etched upon my memory baby**_

He smiled a sad smiled at the limp form in his arms. This little girl was the strongest person he'd ever met, but was she strong enough for what he needed her to do, for the heartbreak of being near him again, because he sure as hell knew he wasn't strong enough for any of it.

_**I've got your kiss  
Still burning on my lips  
The touch of my fingertips  
This love so deep inside of me, baby**_

He looked up and for the first time in many year he hoped that there was a compassionate God in heaven, and he prayed.

"I know that we haven't spoke before. I know that I've made some mistakes in my life…okay a lot of mistakes…but I love her. I just want her to be happy. I'm not the man she needs…Give me the strength to let her go…"He drew a ragged breath " Please…"

_**I've still got your face  
I've still got your face  
Painted on my heart  
Painted on my heart**_

* * *

**_The song in this chapter is by The Cult and it's called "Painted on my heart"_**

**_I own nothing!!!_**

****

**_PLEASE REVIEW!!!_**


	5. Chapter 5

This is set to Torn by Natalie Imbruglia…

The first chapter was set to **Ready for love** by India Arie

The Second chapter was set to **Because of you** by Kelly Clarkson

* * *

Rouge woke to find her self in a small bed with ruff cotton sheets and the persistent tap-tap-tap of the curtains fluttering against the window frame echoing in her head. She was disoriented for a moment. The sheets felt the same as hers, but her bed was a queen. Shaking off the haze of sleep she opened her eyes and looked around the room. Two small doors were on the right side of the room, directly in front of her was another door and on the left wall was a large window covered by heavy red drapes. It was a plain room with no color and no furniture other than the bed. She drew a deep ragged breath and tried to recall what had happened and where she was. Walking toward the window, she paused to inhale the earthy smells of spice and moisture that the wind carried gently to her. She knew where she was…like out of some nightmare of the last few months…she was in New Orleans…

_**I thought I saw a man brought to life  
He was warm, he came around like he was dignified  
He showed me what it was to cry  
Well you couldn't be that man I adored  
You don't seem to know, don't seem to care what your heart is for  
But I don't know him anymore  
There's nothing where he used to lie  
My conversation has run dry  
That's what's going on, nothings fine I'm torn**_

She always loved the city. Its vibrant life and resilience had enchanted her since she was just a child, but this was his city, she was deep in the heart of enemy territory. She thought of him and the memory of her kidnapping came rushing back to her.

'NO!' she screamed violently to herself. Rushing to the first door on the far right wall she yanked it open, closet, the door next to it, Bathroom. Frantic she moved to the last door in the room and turned the handle…it refused to budge.

"No…" this time the words were said aloud…echoing over the sound of the curtains and her heart…

'Wait the curtains…the window.' She rushed toward the window with renewed hope. She should have known better. Firmly bolted over the window was a set of heavy wrought iron bars.

"Think Rouge…Think…" An idea came to her after only a few moments. She'd mastered the powers that she had absorbed over the years…she could use Magneto's powers to get out. Concentrating Rouge pushed at the metal of the door and bars, trying to move them…but nothing happened.

_**I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel  
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor  
Illusion never changed into something real  
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn  
You're a little late, I'm already torn**_

"Sorry Chère…This room negates powers. Remy made it after he met you…he just hoped that you'd get to use it under better circumstances." Rouge whipped around to face the door to the room. Remy stood in front of the closed door with his hands resting on the door frame casually. He looked older more strained, but Rouge didn't notice. To her, he would always be the most beautiful man she had ever laid eyes on.

_**So I guess the fortune tellers right  
Should have seen just what was there and not some holy light  
To crawl beneath my veins and now  
I don't care, I have no luck, I don't miss it all that much  
There's just so many things that I cant touch, I'm torn**_

"Remy…Let me go. Please. Don't do this to me. I was doing fine…I was living a good life. Where I was normal and accepted. I never had to fight or hide who I am…I don't care why you did it…I won't get angry at you or yell…just let me go home." Rouge said quietly. Inside she was screaming 'don't…you already broke my heart…let me die quietly with my dignity to keep me warm.' She could already see his refusal in his eyes. He claimed that no one cloud read him, but she could see right through him.

"Remy…I need your help Chère. There is un problem avec ma famille…I know we aren't on the best terms…mais I need you."

_**I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel  
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor  
Illusion never changed into something real  
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn  
You're a little late, I'm already torn. torn.**_

"Yah got the wrong girl. I'm not strong enough…"

_**There's nothing where he used to lie  
My inspiration has run dry  
That's what's going on, nothings right, I'm torn**_

"Help me with this Rouge and I will leave you alone." Remy was desperate just to spend more time with her, but he knew the cost was too high for them to be together.

_**I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel  
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor  
Illusion never changed into something real  
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn  
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel  
I'm cold and I'm ashamed bound and broken on the floor  
You're a little late, I'm already torn**_

"Forever?" Rouge's voice was a harsh breathless whisper

"Je promette…I promise…Forever…." Remy's response was the same.

* * *

You know what to do!!!


	6. Chapter 6

**I know that Fanfiction is no longer allowing song fics…**

**However if proper due is given to the artist(s) then I see no problem…**

**Thank you…**

Song-

The Eels "I Need Some Sleep"

* * *

The day had passed in silence.

Rouge had refused to acknowledge Remy after his offer to forget her forever…it seemed that Remy understood, but She was sure that he would never understand what a double edged sword his words were…she knew deep in her mind that he never truly loved her but his casual dismissal of ever seeing her again was a sharp pain that rendered her numb. At least he'd understood that she needed time, He'd left her alone for the better part of twenty four hours…at least physically.

As night set in she started to realize that he would never truly leave her…he was her greatest addiction, her strongest craving, her deepest need…but she knew that the pleasure that came from basking in his glow was brief and painful…and she wasn't ready to pay the price again for a few moments in the glory of his arms.

So here she lay in the small bed with the rough sheets waiting for sleep to take her…but finding that her fear of dreaming about him was keeping her eyelids firmly open.

_**I need some sleep.  
I can't go on like this.  
I try counting sheep,  
But there's one I always miss.**_

Remy felt the silence…it was heavier then the thick Louisiana humidity…it clung to everything it touched even when he was away from her. He could feel her body close to his though she was on the other side of the house…his body was fully alert and awake like it was right before a major heist but this time the jewels he wanted were far beyond his grasp. He'd be better of trying to steal the stars then try to touch such innocence and grace.

He remembered explicitly the way she'd felt in his arms as she held him, the way her breath was hot on his neck and the way he could feel the air moving as her lips parted and she spoke into his ear.

Like a lover she'd whispered huskily…

"Remy…I love you and I'm going to show you just how much…" Her lips inched closer till the were right against the skin of his ear…touching but barely…

"I want to be with you…I want…I want you to be my first…" The words were soft and hesitant but he heard them and they scared him deeply.

He'd known she was a virgin, but why let a dirty no-good swamp rat thief like him be her first…so he'd run…the same thing he did every time things got hard.

Remy rolled over for the millionth time that night and sighed deeply. He closed his eyes from sheer exhaustion and drifted away. His dreams of what could have been.

_**Everyone says I'm getting down too low  
Everyone says: "You just gotta let it go"  
"You just gotta let it go"  
I just gotta let it go**_

Somehow…despite her wishes to the contrary Rouge drifted into sleep…and then the dreams began. The haunting memory for a ghost of a touch, the rasp of his lips against her own, that soft smooth drawl that laid her low with just a single word. In her sleep she cried out for him to return.

Some where on the other side of the house Remy's dreams took a turn from the possible to the truth. In his dream Rogue was taken from him by his actions, the final image that startled him from sleep was the image of him walking away from her and her hunched forward as she had been that day at the institute. His heart pounded wildly against his chest, and his tears leaking from his lifeless eyes.

The night laid them both bare to the fears they harbored and the love that had never quiet faded from their broken hearts.

* * *


	7. Chapter 7

Song by Lucinda Williams, it's called "Here in California"

The Quote is by Anais Nin.

Thanks!

* * *

Rogue watched the dawn; it seemed to her that Daybreak was the perfect name for this moment. All of the things that she dreaded, all the moments she didn't want to remember came back to her like a dam breaking, like all the water… all those moments, held back briefly, now rushing forward with deadly and unstoppable force. Sweeping away all the freedom that she had gain from her time away from the mansion, reopening carefully sutured wounds.

_When I was young my mamma told me  
She said child take your time  
Don't fall in love too quickly  
Before you know the one__  
_

A stray thought drifted to her, a quote that Mr. McCoy had whispered in her ear one day, before Remy had left, but during one of their many infamous fights. He'd leaned close when no one was looking and in a soft fatherly tone whispered "Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing." She hadn't understood what he meant then. What did an untouchable girl know of love? Soon after Remy left, she'd seen this quote in a book. A published diary of a woman named Anais Nin. Rogue believed that it was true. That love lived in each of us… no matter what the world did to kill it; it was only by man's hand that it died. Only by actions taken did it fade from this life.

_She held me round the shoulders  
In a voice so soft and kind  
She said love can make you happy  
And love can rob you blind_

It felt strange for her to be here in this moment, with the sun coming up over the City of New Orleans. To be in the home of the man who had given her life, the man who had taken it from her. She drifted back to the first day she'd laid eyes on him. He'd showed up on their doorstep, bags in tow. He limped and the right half of his face was purple and swollen, but his smile had been the same. The same as it had been when he'd kidnapped her, the same as it had been when he'd walked away and left her in the bayou that night.

_Here in California fruit hangs heavy on the vines  
There's no gold I thought I'd warn you  
And the hills turn brown in the summertime  
Now I will learn to love you  
But I can't say when_

He'd pursued her from the start. Attacking the thick walls around her heart with a general's precision and leader's persistence. She would shut him down and he would laugh it off. Every time the same thing, like this was a dance they had done before, one to which both were well acquainted. Until that night…

_This morning we were strangers  
And tonight we're only friends  
I'll take the time to know you  
I'll take the time to see_

She'd dreamed of him. A vivid dream of their life together, of holding hands, picnics in the sun, laughter and a family. She woken from the dream soaked in a cold sweat. With terror that was usually reserved for Magneto's nightmares she'd run down the hall blindly until she'd reached Remy's room. He was older, so he had his own room on the other side of the school. She hadn't knocked, the door was unlocked, and the room was dark on the other side. A voice from the bed startled her…

"_Chere? Dat you?" Remy's voice was like velvet in the darkness of the room, it caressed her skin in a way that his hands never could._

"_Remy… Ah… Ah'm…." She couldn't speak. Her heart beat like a drum against her ribs, slamming into her sternum in a purely masochistic fashion. _

"_What is it girl? It's four in de' mornin' et we 'ave a danger room session in trios heurs." Rogue drew a deep breath._

"_There's nothin' in it for yah… yah and meh… Ah mean what if ah never get control of mah powers, what if ah can't eva' touch yah…" Rogue could hear moving in the bed across the room. The dark consumed all the space around them and for a moment the only sound was her breathing. Out of the all consuming dark a pair of gloved hands reached out and rested against her flushed cheeks._

"_den I wait forever… love don't mind waitin', it is only made better by trouble, like gold, bebe, like gold" His hands brushed gently under her eyes, over her cheek bones, traced her lips, traveled down her neck, until at last his hand came to rest above her heart. _

_There's nothing I won't show you  
If you take your time with me  
Here in California fruit hangs heavy on the vines  
There's no gold I thought I'd warn you  
And the hills turn brown in the summertime._

The door opened behind her and startled her out of her thoughts. Remy had always filled the space he occupied. He seemed to fill rooms with his presence, charging the air with his vitality. It was only now that Rogue realized she was aware of his presence, but the life was gone from his eyes.

_There's a old familiar story  
An old familiar rhyme  
To everything there is a season  
To every purpose there's a time_

The dark circles under his eyes only served to frame the paleness of his skin and highlight the lank unwashed quality of his hair. She moved toward him slowly, as not to startle him. A voice in the back of her head sighed, she'd always been a sucker for pain.

_A time to love and come together  
A time when love longs for a name  
A time for questions we can't answer  
Though we ask them just the same_

When she was close enough that his masculine scent filled her with warmth and her muscles ached with the effort it took to not reach out and hold him, she spoke.

"Why'd yah do it Remy?" Her voice was smooth and low, it burned across his skin like the dry wind across the south.

"Remy told you, he needed votre help avec il famille." He knew that wasn't what she was asking, but he wanted to stave of, even if only for a moment, the truth.

"That's not what ah meant, and yah know it."

_Here in California fruit hangs heavy on the vines  
There's no gold I thought I'd warn you  
And the hills turn brown in the summertime_

* * *

French:

Votre: You

Il Famille: His Family

Trois Heurs: three hours

et: and

PLEASE REVIEW!!! THANKS!


	8. Chapter 8

Hey all... sorry for the long delay. I moved and started school again. Here is the new chapter!

Song: Downfall

Artist: Matchbox 20

Enjoy!

* * *

Remy looked at Rogue. Truly looked at her, and felt his lungs tighten in his chest, his heart start beating louder and harder, slamming against his ribs with masochistic pleasure. It has always been like this for him. One look in those emerald eyes and the rest of the world was dark, inhospitable, and cold. In her gaze he felt alive in a way that he hadn't for a long before going to the institute and had longed for since he walked away from her. She was his dream, his angel of the final hour, hovering there on void between life and death… a sweet temptation, the mysterious end of all he knew. God, how he'd missed her… how he wanted to touch her, hold her, feel her…

_  
I wonder how you sleep  
I wonder what you think - of me  
If I could go back  
Would you have ever been with me_

He knew what she wanted to know… knew that this moment was going to come. That she would want the true and that he would give it to her, because he wasn't strong enough to do anything but tell her the truth.

"Chere…You got to understand… Remy" Rogue interrupted him.

"I have a name, Remy. Use it. And I don't want to hear about why Remy did something. I want to hear why led me on, why you broke my heart… and most importantly why exactly you think that I am going to help you now?"

_I want you to be uneased  
I want you to remember  
I want you to believe in me  
I want you on my side_

Remy had to force himself not to smile. There was a spark of the women that he had fallen in love with, it was an ember that this fragile creature before him kept locked away deep within. Still, he could see his Rogue rising up from where she'd been hidden.

"Listen, Rogue. I know what I did was wrong. I know that I made a mistake. It's just…" Remy paused. He ran his hands over his face, feeling the lines from lack of sleep and hard living etched in his skin, he was to young to feel this old.

"I know that you are too good for me. I know that I am nothing but trouble that you don't need in your life. I've done some bad things in my life… I've done things that would make you sick if you knew. I didn't want you to get hurt because of me. I wanted you to be free to love someone who could give you the life you deserve." He didn't look at her face, he turned his back on her a moved quickly toward the door.

_Come on  
And lay it down  
I've always been with you  
Here and now_

He heard her footsteps but had little time to react. Like a shot of strong aged bourbon, her hand touched his shoulder, and burned away his senses. Her strong right fist connecting with his right eye brought them right back. He wasn't sure if it was distraction or the force of the blow, but he found himself looking up a Rogue from the floor. His hand came to his eye, feeling the tender skin, knowing that in the morning the bruise would make it hard for him to see from that eye. He started to say something but Rogue spoke first.

"That's it. That's your reason. YOU MORON. I aught to kill you Remy LeBeau. Kill you and leave you hanging in the middle of your precious city as an example to all the other morons out there." Rogue's cheeks were flushed with anger, her breathing was heavy, and her eyes were like the molten core of a volcano. Remy was fairly certain that this was more of his southern spitfire's temper then he had ever seen before.

_Give all that's within you  
Be my savior  
And I'll be your downfall  
mmm, mmm, mmm_

Still on the floor, Remy was forced to look up at Rogue as she let loose her temper.

"You think I didn't already know about your past. I absorb people's memories when I touch them. Not just their powers and behaviors. I absorbed you twice when you kidnapped me… God knows how many times after you joined the x-men. I know all about your past. I don't care. I loved you. I'm pretty sure I always will."

Her anger seemed to slip away and leave her with only sadness. She looked down at him with something that could only be pity as she spoke.

"Your right though, You don't deserve me. Not if you are willing to throw everything away for something so stupid. If you aren't willing to fight to be with me then you don't deserve my love."

_  
Here we go again  
Ashamed of being broken in  
We're getting off track  
I wanna get you back again_

She walked away from him. Moving to the bar covered window on the other side of the room. Remy sat in shocked silence, before he found the strength to pull himself off the floor.

"You knew? You knew the whole time. You never said anything, why? Why didn't you tell me that you knew?" Remy could feel a spark of his old life coursing through his veins.

"Oh, right Remy. Are you kidding me? What was I supposed to say? Remy I know all about the guild, and your arranged marriage, and the man you killed… and how much you hate your eyes, how afraid you are of making the same mistakes you did before… Would you have listened? Or would you have left? Run-away like you always do. Oh, that's the other thing I know. You run. Whenever things get hard, when it feels like things are getting to heavy… you take off." Rogue turned to face him again, waiting for some kind of response.

_I want you to trouble me  
I wanted you turning down  
I want you to agree with me  
I want so much so bad_

"So what if I run Rogue? At least I let people get close to me. At least I let the people who love me be part of my life…" Remy stop speaking, the second the words were past his lips he knew that he'd said the wrong thing.

"You let the people who love you be part of your life. I must have heard you wrong, I could have sworn that you just said that you let people get close to you… I could have sworn to God above that you just said that you let the people who love you be part of your life. You wouldn't say that, right, not me. Not to me…" Rogue didn't know how to feel, she could feel so many emotions boiling up inside of her, threatening to overwhelm her

_Come on and lay it down  
I've always been with you  
Here and now  
Give all that's within you  
Be my savior  
And I'll be your downfall  
mmm, mmm, mmm_

"Rogue, I'm sorry I didn't mean it." He tried to move toward her to lay comforting hand on her shoulder, but Rogue was in no mood to be comforted.

"You did mean it Remy. I know that I might come off as a bitch sometimes… that doesn't mean that I don't love my family. Let me ask though… how often has me letting people get close ended up with me getting burned? You are the best example of that. I trusted with everything. I told you all the things that I kept hidden from everyone else. I would have given you everything, but you… being so god damn selfish like always, decided that I didn't deserve the chance to fight for what I wanted. You did that same thing by bringing me here. I may not have been super happy back in Montana, but I was healing. Living on my terms, no teams… no politics… no heart break… just me."

Rogue watched and waited he had taught her to overly cautious when he walked away… it was a lesson wore like a bullet proof vest.

"I never meant to be selfish. I just wanted to see you again and I needed your help. God, I, I, I…. I am being selfish…" Remy exhaled deeply and sat down on the bed with his head in his hands.

_Yeah, be my savior  
(Only love can save us now)  
(Don't lay me down)  
(Only love can save us now)  
I'll be your downfall (I'll be your downfall)  
(Ah, love can save us now)  
(Don't save me now)_

"I could have told you that." Rogue voice was laced with something that until this point he had not heard… humor.

Remy looked over at the fiery southerner and felt a self-deprecating smile tug on his lips.

"I guess it's something I need to work on." His voice sounded tired, even to his own ears.

"That and the fact that I'm always right." Rogue sat beside him on the bed. Separate from him, but close enough that he understood what this moment was… a peace offering. A truce.

_Lay it down  
I've always been with you  
Hear me now  
With all that's within you  
Be my savior  
And I'll be your downfall  
mmm, mmm, mmm_

"I am truly sorry, Rogue. I don't think I can say that enough." Remy looked out into the space in front of him. Not sure that he could look at her at her now that he fully understood how wrong he'd been.

"I agree, sugar. You have a lot of apologies to make before I even consider forgiving you. Even then it's not for certain. You made a mistake a huge mistake, Remy, one that is going to hang between us for a while." Remy had to look at her now.

"You truly are too good for this old thief." Remy saw something spark in her eyes and once again found himself on the floor. This time courtesy of a hard shove.

"Watch it Swamp Rat!" Remy felt his mouth lift into a smile.

_Now I'm back on my own  
Hear my feet, they're made of stone  
Man, I make you go where I go_

"I see our time apart has made you more violent. I'm afraid I'll be covered in bruises before long." Remy joked.

"You keep acting like an idiot and you will. I've decided that every time you make me angry you deserve to get hit." Rogue looked dead serious, save for the hesitant sparkle of life in her eyes.

"… and you are always right, Chere. So, I must deserve it right?" Rogue smacked him upside the back of his head and raised her eyebrows high.

"I didn't give you permission to call me Chere. We are starting all over here Remy. That means until I say so you call me by my name and if I walk away… you have to respect that." The somber words broke their light teasing. Remy nodded sadly and moved so his back rested against the bed.

"So. You going to tell me what's going on with your family or do I have to use my powers and take the information?" Rogue wiggled her bare fingers near his face as she spoke.

_  
Well hell, you, can I take you home  
Well, I'm coming home on my back  
Kissing me, your lips painted black  
Saying Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh  
Let me be your downfall  
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh  
Let me be your downfall, baby_

"I'm glad you're here, Rogue. I could use the help. It's like this…" Remy started to tell her all the things that had happened over the last two months. It was like old times… or at least it was getting there.


End file.
